36,500 Words.

O sacred liquid of my teenage years!
Dave's brother drank you so we drank you too,
Absorbing your caffeine instead of beers;
We substituted drunkenness for you.

Green cans, green plastic bottles large and small
Lay piled up in the corners of our rooms,
Along with pizza boxes, wall to wall,
Porn mags and comic books: a kind of tomb.

You soundtracked all our 3 a.m. guffaws,
Inspired the biggest belches ever heard;
There wasn't a spazz-out you couldn't cause.
Your last name was our only holy word.

Oh, hell, my word limit is up. Anyway, you get the idea.